Hate Post-ish Lang Naman
Saturday, August 16, 2008
♥ 9:56 PM
Right now, I really don't feel like gushing about the Fiesta. While I know it's worth gushing about--the rides, the people, the moments, everything that was spectacular about it--I just don't feel like doing it now. I wanna give it justice, and I'm giving it justice by finding the right time to post a proper gush about it. Lol. :)
However, I do wanna talk about certain stuff... like, people, and decisions.
People. Oh. The most complex beings God has ever created. Just when you think you know them, they turn a complete 180 degrees and surprise you. Who knew that they could ever be the opposite of whom you viewed them to be? I certainly didn't. And I certainly didn't expect it when he/she reared that ugly head towards me and bit my head off. Okay. So maybe I did. Cause there were signs. He/She'd done that to me so many times before, and I just chose to be blind about it, which is why right now it's coming as a surprise--but it doesn't really matter. Because what really matters is that you get over yourself, and I get over myself. I'm not a hypocrite. I won't wash my hands clean of any mistake I committed; but before you point fingers at anyone else, look at yourself first. I've let you pass a lot of times; I've let you hurt me more times than I can imagine; and yet, you keep on repeating the same things over and over and over again. It's like you can't feel me getting hurt. It's like you don't care that I get hurt at all.
It's like we aren't friends, dude. Parang. Close tayo isang araw; sa susunod, tapos na tayo. Tapos kapag may kailangan ka, ako na ang last resort. Oh, don't think I don't know. I offer a shoulder, and you, what do you do? You find another shoulder. Question lang ha: Am I not good enough anymore? Since when? And why? You better tell me straight out. Kasi hindi lang ako ang nasasaktan. MAY IBA NA RING NASASAKTAN.
Oo. Marami rin akong pagkakamali. Nasaktan na rin kita. Pero justified ba tong lahat ng ginagawa mo sa'kin? Is this your plan for vengeance at its best? Or are you really just unaware about all of this happening? Aba, ewan ko. Kaya nga tinanatanong kita e. Para magkalinawan na tayo. I'm tired of this happening. I'm tired of having to go through the same thing over and over. Damaged na ako masyado ba. Kung alam mo lang talaga. Baka isang araw magulat ka na lang kay hindi ko na kayang kimkimin ang lahat.
Pero. Know what. Love pa rin naman kita. Kaya hindi kita ipagkakanulo. I'll still be here; I'll still be supportive, hanggang sa makakaya ko pa. Kaya lang, reminder lang nga:
I'm at the verge of my sanity already.
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